Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Is This Bandster Hell ???

Is This Bandster Hell ??? This is week 5 post-op and it's starting to get a little ruff and shaky, it's really hard to stay on track and keep it all together the way you should. Especially with the Holidays coming and being able to eat solid foods again. Since I've been back to work it's been hard to make it to the gym or do my 45min walks like i use to. Also going back on solid foods is really tempting because it has once again satisfied those cravings that i use to have before. that satisfaction of just chewing something. I'm sure I've gained back a few lbs. hopefully it won't be too many by the time i get my 1st fill on Dec. 1st. I think I'm stuck in what they call "Bandster Hell' right now, where you can have solids but have not had a fill yet so you don't really have that restriction feeling. And i basically feel like i can eat the way i did before i was banded, but maybe a little less , and that to me is scary! I'm trying not to lose focus, I've really noticed how my clothes fit me now and actually i like the fact that my pants will fall off me if i don't wear a belt...lol I like the feeling that i had to pull out some of my previous too small garments to keep it all up and together..lol that's one thing that makes me excited everyday, and to know that I'm still in the beginning and haven't even begun to lose the way i know i can with this band. WOW, WOW, WOW,At the end of the day I'm just Fascinated !

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Support Group ???

It's about 2 weeks post op and everything seem to be going okay. I'm down a total of 28lbs despite the hard days where i have cheated, and what i mean by cheating is moving myself up to mushies before the Dr. or the paper say i should be on mushies. the swelling is down or gone and the hunger pains are there, so I've had low fat yogurt, cheese, grits and eggs,etc. but i still don't think it's bad. not to make excuses but compared to some of the stories I've heard about not even having to do a liquid diet post -op, it's not bad at all ! i went to my very first support group meeting yesterday and I'm still trying to decide if it's for me or if it will help me at all. it definitely was not what i expected because they did not talk about the everyday issues of a bandster, but instead went over an article about what's in front of you and what do you feel and see? yeah i was like wow,are you serious ? but unlike some people i did stay to at least give it a chance. i will go to one more that is supposedly different and then i will make my decision on it ! i don't think i need the whole counseling session, I've already figured out why i eat (out of boredom)and really thought i was going to hear about every body's ups and downs or their stories. and although i felt the warm feeling of support from the group and could relate to what they had been through and knew they could to what i have been through , it just wasn't talked about.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Just Being Thankful !

I'm 11 days post -op and I'm feeling pretty good, i must say that although it's been hard and some very trying times i feel blessed and very thankful ! thankful that all my incisions are healing well and there is no infection, thankful that so far my body has not rejected the band. i have saw some pics and have read some threads that will make you just run and hide. I am truly Blessed right now and GOD knows it has been a hard road coming and still is both financially and mentally. but I'm counting my blessing right now because he has gotten me through and continue to make a way for me when it don't seem like it will be one ! I'm on week 2 of post-op liquids and it's starting to get hard as the mushie week peeks from around the corner. I've already had 2 tablespoons of mashed potatoes and to satisfy me mentally i chopped up 1 chicken nugget also. and when i heard of someone else i know being able to eat a cheeseburger after surgery i can clearly see how they did it, it's really no restriction before your 1st fill. and i can sort of understand why also, except my brain pulls back before going that far ! I've been through too much pain to sabotage my own surgery, plus i want to at least give my stomach the chance to heal properly first... like i said " I'll Always Have The Heart N Soul of a Big Gurl no matter how much smaller i get !