Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Roads Yet 2 Travel, Trails 2 Leave

Just wanted to pop in and say Happy Holidays to everyone and leave some encouraging words behind. Today marks 2 months for me since I've had my surgery. I've had my 2ND fill and so far, it's been good. i have not started eating yet( Christmas Day) but can feel restriction even with drinking, so i hope this one did it(UNTIL NEXT MONTH)if not I'll be back. i am now up to 3.2cc in my 14cc band. I'm very anxious to see down which roads me and this band will travel next year and feel very excited and blessed to even be able to have it. I've came to accept that this is a learning process and it will take time, and that not all days will be good days. I've learned how to put it aside and pick back up the next day and try it over again. The fact of the matter is that..PERFECT GIRLS AREN'T REAL, AND REAL GIRLS AREN'T PERFECTand that's just how it is ! I've came a long way but yet still have a long way to go, and i have nothing but time because this is my year and IT'S ALL ABOUT ME ! MUUAH Have A Happy Holidays everybody,Let's Show'em How It's Suppose To Be Done !

Pink leaves

Monday, December 22, 2008

2nd Fill

Well today is the day i get my 2nd fill and I'm hoping it will do the trick. it's perfect timing right before Christmas so i will not be able to over do it if i wanted to. Christmas will be when I'm able to go back to food( the test). i know they say just because you can get it down,it don't mean you should. but really now ! are you serious ? i am the size i am now because i have pushed the limit and tested the boundries. so that is easier said than done and will change with time. the truth of the matter is that i find myself even testing my band to see how much i can eat, and what it will take to make me reach my FULL status. i feel like that's what the Fills are for "RESTRICTION". i finally came out of denial and bought new under garments, the other ones were not doing the trick anymore. i went from a size 48(sports bra) to a size 44 now they are holding up every thing back right and tight! and they are so darn comfortable at all
well will we see how this 2nd fill turns out on Christmas but for now it'll be back to liquids until then. i did lose another 3lbs but it's those same damn 2-3lbs I've been going back and forth with for about 2 weeks now, so hopefully they are gone for good now and i can add something to that.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Keeping The Faith !


So it's been 2 weeks since my 1st fill and just when i was ready to say i need another fill something changed with my band. I've been trying to get the feel for this thing and at least try to learn it, although i know it's going to change at times. I'm going about my normal day as i usually do and i have a protein shake at 8am for my morning break as i have many times before. it usually keeps me full up until around lunch time so i also brought a lunch to work, but to my surprise i was still full (as a tick)at lunch time and past lunch time. i was not hungry so i tried to at least drink something and remained full through out the entire day until around 5pm. i was so shocked and don't understand what happen, i felt like i was able to drink more of the protein shake but what i did drink kept me full the entire day. i also wasn't hungry the next day until around noon time ! i have my next Dr.Apt 12-29 and felt like i should wait until that date before requesting another fill. that will give me time to figure out what this band is doing and how much of my eating schedule has changed. I'm slowly getting over these learning steps as i go and still feel pretty damn good about being banded. i have faith and believe in myself that I'll get the lbs moving again. it took years to pack them on so i know they are not going any where in a months time !!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Slow N Steady !

It's been 1 Month, 2 Weeks, and 2 Days since surgery and i am finding out all about that Slow N Steady thing, or at least i think i do! although i have not had anything get stuck yet i do still need to work on my chewing speed. it seems that my band has loosened up since i first had it filled, i find myself getting more down. i did'nt think i would need another fill this soon but i guess i don't know much epecially since i don't feel like i've lost much weight since the 1st fill.So that's why i leave it up to the Doctors huh! So my next fill may be 12-29-08(my next Dr. Apt). It must be in inches, which is also good. i'll take inches,lbs,ounces, what well i finally went through my closet and pulled out all those clothes that i thought i would get back to but have'nt. and now they will be too big even if i did get back to them. it was hard letting them go although i'm not sure why i kept them, so type of comfort they gave my closet i guess. being that most overweight people purchase their clothes a little bigger than their actual size, i'm now left with clothes that are huge. i never really knew that 30lbs would make such a big difference in the way my clothes fit me. a little too big is okay but not huge because then i'll really look sloppy. so now i have to figure out what size i am this month and decide on if i want to wait or should i just start buying new clothes to get me through right now ???

Friday, December 5, 2008

I Can Do It !

Well I'm making it through this 1 day at a time, it still blows me away at how much or should i say how less of food it takes to make me feel full. it's almost as if my mind is saying you're full but my eyes can't believe it. i must say it's amazing and i love it, everyday i really appreciate it more and more. i really wish i would of had this done years ago! i would have never thought that i would be able to put on my pants with them already buttoned and zipped up. it's so different and really an adjustment in size, i feel like i have a good work-out plan and really feel great when i leave the gym. i feel like a Biggest Loser Contestant doing a last minute work-out ! they are a tru inpiration to me and gives me hope that my body(skin) will also bounce back !


I'm Working It Out !

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

1st Fill

So i made it through Thanksgiving with out gaining any it was close, i even lost 2lbs. me taking off my shoes must of been the 2lbs, but it is what it is and I'll take that 2lb lost. i had my very first fill yesterday and despite what i thought i would experience or what i heard about it, it actually went very smooth. I'm really blessed to have a great doctor, it maybe took all of 5mins and was not painful at all. i did feel the feeling in my chest and was able to let him know when it was too tight, i think i have a good restriction. I'm on liquids for 48hrs and then after that I'll have to test it out with food and see and experience what everyone else talks about. it's time to talk the talk and walk the walk now. I'm very excited and motivated now, I'm ready to make that scale move again the way it did before. although I'll take slow and steady, I'll even take a stand still as long as it doesn't go back up too much I'll be satisfied . so i have 1.9cc in a 14cc band and i go back for my next fill after Christmas. One thing I'm excited about but was not ready for was my all of my pants falling off me, that is still a shock to me even now. i have an outfit that i was planning to wear for Christmas but now I'm not sure if it will even stay up on me! wow i wasn't prepared to go shopping for clothes right now, especially with my weight not being stable and will probably change again in another month. Amazing !

Monday, December 1, 2008

Made It Through Thanksgiving..

Okay so I've made it through Thanksgiving Weekend and didn't do too bad. I've managed to eat everything i wanted and was able to stay at the same weight or somewhere around it. My 1st fill is today and I'm ready for it, I'm ready to not be able to get down some foods because i feel as if some times i lose control. i need that restriction to say stop when i feel i can't. i have already decided to go ahead and enjoy this Holiday and get the fill and start over fresh, pick back up where i left off! put the past behind me and move forward as a bandster starting today. I'm tired of making excuses to eat things i shouldn't have, such as" eat now because when i get filled it's over". if there is two things i hate more it's needles and throwing up, the needle part i can handle but the throwing up part is unacceptable especially if it's not necessary. So I'm ready for this fill and I'm ready for where this band can take me, so i say "Let it Begin".