Sunday, October 26, 2008

Officially A Bandit Now

Well I'm finally on the other side (post op ), Dammit I Made it ! other than the usual soreness i fell good, glad that part is over and glad to be home. never thought it would feel soo damn good just to be able to finally take a real Now that i have climbed over those stepping stones I'm ready for the next one. ready for the bandages to come off now and everything to heal up. Right now I'm just trying to recognize the different rumbles and growling going on in my stomach. and making sure i can feel the fullness feeling and not mistake one feeling for something else. and soon as i get situated I'm going to watch my entire surgery on the DVD i requested(Priceless) !

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Finally !!!!

Tomorrow is My Big Day and The anticipation has finally caught up with me and set in. i will be reporting to Palms of Pasadena @ 7:30 and Surgery is scheduled for around 10am. for the most part it's the last minute run around and making sure all paperwork was fax to whom ever it was suppose to reach by now, is driving me crazy more than anything. I don't feel like i should have to check behind people , but i guess if i want it covered and want to get paid while I'm out i gotta do it ! So Far I'm down 11lbs (woo-hooo) GO ME and couldn't of been happier with just that alone. I've never loss 11lbs in 12 days ever , and then to think that it will be staying off with more to come behind it is just fabulous i tell you !! well my bags are packed and i have all my gear for when i get home. I've picked up all meds. and took out all my piercings(including my facial two). I've meet with the surgeon and asked all my questions and to my surprise i will also be getting this keloid removed from my ear !! i asked if he could inject steroids into my incision to reduce the chance of them growing . and also asked in a joking manner can he remove the one from my ear while i was under and he said YES !! oh wow this is gonna be soooooooooo emotional. I'm getting the NEW -NEW for real !

Monday, October 20, 2008

Day 10 Liquid Diet/Surgery Friday !

Wow it's day 10 of the liquid diet with Friday being the day i go in. i really don't think it has hit me yet and although i have saw several before and after pictures, i still can't get my head around the fact that that's going to be ME also SOON ! I'm just ready to go through it and start this journey, i really wish i could fast forward it to maybe 3months post-op. that will be a nice spot to be at, or at least i think so. all the band aids are off,no more gas pains, you're back to work, have worked your way up past mushies and have probably had several fills by now. okay let me snap back to reality well the optifast isn't bad it taste like a shake, it's just those darn urges to have some meat or something. i've already detached myself from food and as long as my stomach don't growl I'm GOOD ! I've started back at the gym and can do an hour there easily between the treadmill,bike and weights. i think that takes my mind off of food the most, just staying busy and away from the TV. i think I'm strong enough to sit around people eating and smell food and pass it up. hell at this point my body has been without carbs and sugar for this long until it'll only make me sick anyways and i still won't be satisfied.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Day 5 Liquid Diet

Well it's Day 5 of the Liquid Diet and it's getting better as it goes along. but there is nothing, i repeat NOTHING that will stop the urge or craving from wanting food, meat or something, anything. it's better for me at work because my mind is busy and at my break and lunch times i quickly leave the building (so i won't smell other employees heating up their food in the cafeteria) and i walk twice around the entire building and parking lot. i even have a walk buddy that makes it easier also. i did cheat yesterday and had a can of chicken noodle soup, my i must be honest and say i never thought it taste so good. i just hope i didn't mess up anything and my liver will be shrunk by surgery date. i felt like if i was going to cheat with something that wasn't that bad being that it wasn't a full meal or a heavy one. so we are coming to the hardest part of the week, the weekend ! i was told not to do a full,hard down workout while on Optifast because i don't really have fuel in me and may pass out.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Day 2 Liquid Diet

Well I'm on Day 2 of the liquid diet, i must say that Day 1 started out very ruff and i wanted some food sooooooo bad. i had a headache and my stomach was a little sick for the first part of the morning. after a little while i was okay and felt better. Day 2 is a little better and for the most part as long as my stomach doesn't growl I'm cool ! that is the worst feeling(growling) ever and kind of hard to ignore, so as long as i can stop that I'm good. i have the jello, sugar free ice pops, and crystal light for in between. I'm sure by the end of two weeks i will be so sick and tired of the Optifast taste until I'll probably never want to have another ever again. I must say to anyone who feel like weight loss surgery is taking the easy way out are soo far off until it's not even funny. they have no idea how much harder this is mentally, physically and emotionally. I'm going to take it one day at a time and try to remain strong through it all, 2 weeks will be up before i know it and then i'll move on to the next stepping stone. keeping in my mind at all times that this is very necessary!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Heart N Soul


17 days to go before LapBand Surgery and I'm already nervous, excited, scarred, ready,anxious..everything all in one. i swear by the time this is over with I'll need some type of anxiety medication. I will be starting my 2week pre-op diet this Friday Oct.10Th or should i say Oct.11Th, being that the 10Th is my Birthday, and for the 1st time I'll actually be celebrating it ! WOW, Go-Me ! putting endings to allot and welcoming of others. No Longer Comfortable with being Fat And Fabulous after it turned into Fat and Type II Diabetic, The Fabulous part went out the window !!This has been a very Emotional Journey for me that has brought up emotions from deep within that i didn't realize where even there. It's Like i will finally have the chance to have my outside match my inside. I will finally be able to shed this body that has held me back from so much, Due to the world's view of over weight people this is a body that has endured a hell of allot of Rejections, Stares, Discrimination, and Judgement.A body that has hid and sheltered my real soul for years, in all honesty i guess you can say i hid behind it ! I haven't even been able to wrap my mind around how great this can work for me or how much potential i have with this. I have Lived, Breathed, Slept LapBand every since i was approved, i have read up on everything about it and found myself blown away from other's before and after pics. trying to imagine what I'll look like 25lbs lighter is very hard not to mention 100lbs lighter. I can finally say "screw you"(and a few other choice words) to all those people who felt like all you have to do is push back from the table ! I'm taking control of My Health,My Life, And My Future .