Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Heart N Soul


17 days to go before LapBand Surgery and I'm already nervous, excited, scarred, ready,anxious..everything all in one. i swear by the time this is over with I'll need some type of anxiety medication. I will be starting my 2week pre-op diet this Friday Oct.10Th or should i say Oct.11Th, being that the 10Th is my Birthday, and for the 1st time I'll actually be celebrating it ! WOW, Go-Me ! putting endings to allot and welcoming of others. No Longer Comfortable with being Fat And Fabulous after it turned into Fat and Type II Diabetic, The Fabulous part went out the window !!This has been a very Emotional Journey for me that has brought up emotions from deep within that i didn't realize where even there. It's Like i will finally have the chance to have my outside match my inside. I will finally be able to shed this body that has held me back from so much, Due to the world's view of over weight people this is a body that has endured a hell of allot of Rejections, Stares, Discrimination, and Judgement.A body that has hid and sheltered my real soul for years, in all honesty i guess you can say i hid behind it ! I haven't even been able to wrap my mind around how great this can work for me or how much potential i have with this. I have Lived, Breathed, Slept LapBand every since i was approved, i have read up on everything about it and found myself blown away from other's before and after pics. trying to imagine what I'll look like 25lbs lighter is very hard not to mention 100lbs lighter. I can finally say "screw you"(and a few other choice words) to all those people who felt like all you have to do is push back from the table ! I'm taking control of My Health,My Life, And My Future .

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