Monday, January 26, 2009

It's Personal, Myself & I ....

Vultures Pictures, Images and Photos
it's been a few days since I've post anything i'm still on Tour with The band but have really been in a funk lately. I Had A Lay over between the cold weather and personal issues, I've lost the motivation and haven't worked out or walked in about 1 1/2 weeks. so I'm really stuck in "THE STATE OF GUILT" with no fuel, i tried to get back up and out there Saturday Morning. i got my small back pack on and started on my way with my earphones and pedometer on and ready to go. but as i get down the sidewalk maybe about 10min into my walk i noticed that there are 2 vultures flying around up ahead of now I'm thinking to myself like DAMN i know i have been slacking lately and may have even falling off the"BAND" WAGON, but my gosh did they have to send the Vultures out to come and get me ?? HOLD ON HERE, I'm very much ALIVE and still have a lot of FIGHT left in me! My Gosh This Is Some Bull Ish but never the less i did complete my 55min walk/jog and feel very confident that I'm still in the game.
The only other thing that i kind of regret now is the constant status report my co-workers want from me. my surgery was not a secret among my co-workers, family or friends, i was very proud and pleased to announce that i had finally took responsibility for my bad habits. and at the same time warning them to look out and get ready because i was getting my "SEXY" back. don't get me wrong i don't mind the questions or them checking up on my progress, but it's when the same person is asking me the same questions every 2 weeks that is annoying to me. I'm hoping that i have inspired someone else to keep up the fight that they are having but it's kind of aggravating because i see them looking into my plate at lunch time, wondering what i am eating and trying to figure out how that amount makes me full. then i have the ones who want me to share the information i get from MY nutritionist visit with them, when my information is based upon my surgery. Then I have the ones who has switched up between several different types of diets (all failed) since I've had my surgery and have now inquired about the left over Opti-Fast i had from my liquid diet. I can only assume they are thinking they will have the same results as myself...uummmm NO !
Oh and i can't leave out the ones who haven't saw me in awhile and know i look FABULOUS but are too jealous(already) to tell me so. This is the thing... i know i have a problem with my weight and i know that diets don't work for me. i know myself well enough not to continue to play around with all these different types of diets and know that surgery was the best option for me. NO i don't have the Gastric-Bypass and will not lose 10lbs a week just from sitting on the couch, i know i have to put work into this. But don't get mad at me because i have found something that will work for me and not only have talked about it but did something about it !!
It's okay because despite all the pressure, whispers and the looks i get there are a few things that will never change and there are a few things that nobody can take from me..
#1 - 279(lbs) is gone FOREVER...ha ha ha

# 2 - how GOOD these Size 18 pants FEEL... ( still stoked) lmao, Nah Bitches !
so yes i still have my bad days like anybody else, but the fight is still in me and it's strong. I'm me and I'm not comparing myself to anyone else, nor will i attach myself to someone else goal or diet plan. This is been about ME from the start so it's only right that i finish it up about ME ! Will i Get Cocky and Confident.. ?? probably so, but i gave a proper warning when i was sipping down Opti-Fast and walking around the building on my

SONG QUOTE FOR NOW : " I Hope You Know, I Hope You Know... That This Has Nothing To Do With You... It's Personal Myself and I. We Got Some Straighten Up To Do...(Fergie "Big Girls Don't Cry" )



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